SAViNG 2 PUPPiES....BUt WHAt ABOUt tHE RESt?

How can this Earth be so cruel? Why do we have to live in a kill or be killed world? Why do we have to be either prey or predator? How can people be so selfish? I'm not saying I'm the most perfect person in the world because I know I'm not. I'm also selfish and always want everything to go my way. We all have our flaws. Maybe Pandora shouldn't have opened that box. A couple days ago I came home from a friend's house and found 2 puppies walking towards me. At first they were barking at me thinking I was a threat. Then they must have realized I wasn't one so they came strolling down the sidewalk and wagging their tails. They were jumping on me and whimpering. I felt bad for them because they were so small and looked starved and I knew I couldn't help them because that would make me responsible for them. And right now I can't afford 2 puppies. So I went inside my house and tried to forget about them. The next day I went to the library and when I opened the door I found them laying there and as soon as they saw me they started wagging their tails again. As if they knew me for a long time or if I was their owner. I walked to my car and they followed me and almost wanted to get in the car with me. As I was backing out of the driveway they followed me and when I drove off they ran after me. I'm a  deeply compassionate, caring person so seeing this broke my heart. After a few hours I came home and there I found them waiting by the door. These puppies see me as their protection and wanted me to feed them. It took a lot of will power from me not to feed them or pet them. One of my friends told me to look at the big picture: "You take care of these 2, cost a good bit of money and time, then this attracts more dogs, so on and so forth." I agreed with him but I told him that there must animal shelters that will take care of them for a while and give them a chance at adoption and yes I understand that most of the time dogs get euthanized but I'd feel better knowing that they'll have an opportunity at adoption and being fed instead of dying of starvation. And yes I know they are just animals, but shouldn't they be just as important as humans? I mean they are part of our world right? It wouldn't be fair or it shouldn't be justified leaving dogs or any animal to starve. What if it were 2 kids? Would you really leave them to starve to death? I know there are some cruel people in this world that would. I know I wouldn't do that to children or any animal. My heart is too big, I can't help it. And I'm definitely not going to stay with my arms crossed and do nothing. We're all god's creations so we should all help each other in every way possible.

How will we know whether we think right or not?

I'm the type of person that likes to see everything from every possible angle and perspective. So that means that I can actually agree and disagree from every angle...but you see I have people who tell me how to see life differently. Some see it as life being full of opportunities, and hope. Others see it as being full of people who will always hurt you and use you no matter what. They tell me life's a bitch and then you die, that simple. But you see, i refuse to see it this way. How will i know who's right and who is wrong? What influences me into believe in the way that I do? I do believe life is full of opportunities and chances and with a little hope anything is possible. Although I also believe its true that people always use you, it might not be intentionally or in a cruel way but they always want something from you, its how the world works. Somehow even people you love and care about always end up hurting you in some way, they might break your heart, betray you, loose your trust, walk away from your life, there's different ways people can hurt you without it being physical. And the saying "Life's a Bitch" well, yeah it is but you shouldn't see that as a downer, or see it as a bad thing. The way i see it is that life just throws challenges at you, battles, risks, its like a game. Its up to YOU whether you want to win or lose. Its up to YOU on how you approach the situation and with what perspective and attitude. Its up to YOU who you want on your "team" and what "strategies" to put into action. Life is a paradox...its complicated but simple at the same time. It just depends on how you see it. I'm still skeptical of the issue on people being able to change or not. It might apply to some people but not everyone entirely. Some people can change but a lot there's just no way that they ever will. I rather not get to in depth with that topic....but i will in another occasion. Just remember that the only person who can tell you what to do with your life, how to do it, and how to think, well that's only YOU.

PHilOPHOBiA

"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love" -Henri B. Stendhal

This is one of my favorite quotes that I absolutely love. I'm a person that believes in hope and that's what keeps my life going. The only problem is that I'm afraid of love. I've always had a problem with showing my emotions to people that I "like" or don't know when I actually start feeling something. It's hard to explain, I just have a hard time letting someone know that they are special.....and I hate that because a lot of opportunities slip right by....something like that happened recently and now well lets just say its too late.

But I think there was hope for something to be born but like always I blew it.....

I'm sure it happened for a reason......it always does.

learning a little history [progressivism]

Why is that when we see something we right away want it? We always want something we can't have but then when we FINALLY get it we get tired of it. You gotta admit this happens to everybody, we're human so its okay. or is it? Is it okay to justify the way we are or the things we do just because we're human and we make mistakes? To me that just sounds like an excuse to keep on doing bad things in this life. Today in Ms. Sanders history class we researched some famous muckrakers. You know the journalists from the 20th century that pulled out all the dirt and injustices that were going on during that time period. Well anyways whats so interesting about the progressive era for me is how hard people worked to change society. All the things they did like the pullman strike of 1894 and how Eugene V. Debs actually helped out the railroad workers and went to prison not caring because he was doing a good cause and standing up for what he believed in and thought was fair. I don't know I just think learning about the progressive era is interesting since its still happening in the present day. I'm not really a politics type of girl but some things are interesting and worth debating over. Ever since i placed foot in Ms. Sanders' classroom I once again started to enjoy history class because I like the way she teaches it and we have classroom discussions and we all participate well most do anyway. Oh yeah and one last thing, be sure of what you want to get because once you have it you might not want it anymore...

I tend to go off topic a lot so just giving a heads up! :DD

A tiME i fElt i WAS iN A CAGE....

A time I felt like I was in a cage was when I was very sick and it felt like I was never going to leave the hospital and felt that the pain would never go away. As a result to this I fell into a depression and didn't want to go outside, I didn't want to go to school, I didn't want anybody to see me. I would spend my day laying on a bed. Then I started to read books, but I still wasn't going outside or going to school. I was getting more interested in books that I actually asked my mom to take me to the bookstore and right away she did. After that every time she needed to go to wal-mart she begged me to go with her saying that the fresh air would do me good. She told me that I could ride the little cars people use when they're handicapped. As I noticed that it was "okay" to actually go outside and people wouldn't laugh at me, I decided to go to the store or just outside as many times I could. 

LEUKEMIA

How long is this disease going to rule my life?

When are the unexpected pains going to go away?

I ask myself these questions everyday. 

And everyday I have the same answer. 

Having Leukemia changes your life completely and its something you don't know if it'll ever go away.

Leukemia ruined my life, it made all of my hair fall off 

There was only one person who I blames; God. 

I would be in a hospital bed for several weeks and ask God; "What did I do to deserve this?"

As time passed by and I would see all the little children in the hospital going through something worse than me, I started to realize 

I realized these kids are fighting a battle much worse than me so why can't I? 

All the times I felt like I was going to die soon went away

I then started to thank god everyday for keeping me alive 

Now I know that whatever God has planned for me is only to make me stronger.

If I could relive my life over I would go through that battle all over again. 

Multi-tasker!

This year has been HECTIC!
But i love it that way!
I've joined every possible club in the school.....well no except the debate team/club.
I've also volunteered at the zoo!
the clubs I'm in include; poetry :0, G.I.A., F.O.C.U.S, and Newspaper Club :D
My plate is pretty much full but when it gets full i always go get a bigger plate.
I promised myself this year was going to be different and that i was going to get more involved with people and thats exactly what i'm doing.
I love that i've only been absent 2 or 3 times compared to most of the year last year.
I know the there's more to come so I'll be waiting for all of the opportunities!!

Response to "Freedom Writers"

Freshman Year (1994)

The first year of the freedom writers talks about the undeclared war and a lot of revenge. The undeclared war is a war between color and race. Kids from Long Beach, California have a lot of issues involving race. Blacks, Whites, Asians, and Hispanics can't get along with one another because thats what they grew up learning. What they start to realize with Ms. Gruwell teaching them, is that they actually could get along if it weren't for the race issues. Since there's different gangs and its absolutely forbidden to talk to an Asian if you're a Hispanic, kids get into fights all the time and if one of their friends dies the other members of the gang seek revenge even if it was their own fault.